Who's that cat?
2003-07-31 @ 2:45 p.m.
I know what you're thinking; who is this cat who wants to be a bat, ate a rat and is always low fat? Actually, I never ate a rat, that's a lie. Anyway, who am I? Well, I won't necessarily tell you who I AM, but I'll tell you who I MIGHT be. I might be a great dancer because my legs are attached directly to my brain and I have perfect rhythm because instead of a nose I have a metronome stabled to my face. I might be a nude powerlifter who has mastered the 1000 lb squat because my training regimen includes carrying two 500 lb sacks of kittens up and down Mt. Kilimanjaro every other day. On my off days I work on lifting giant plates of steaming hot chocolate covered jellyfish with my weiner (wiener?). I might be that. OR, I might be a little kid wearing a muumuu watching Full House all day wearing a paper plate on my head as a hat. I might be the CEO of a company called Mysterious Ways, but nobody knows what we do, only that our motto is "God works in Mysterious Ways, and he answers to UNCLE PUMPKIN!" Or I might just be a superintelligent baby whose greatest fear is pooping my diaper while giving a dissertation on the harmful effects of forced artificial thermogenesis in people who take medication for various mental instabilities. Wait, I might not be that one.
Okay, I'll be honest, I'm really a little girl with a teapot for a face and when people hurt my feelings I get really steamed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm a genius!